Briana and Chris were expecting their first baby late January 2020. A baby boy. Mid December Briana informed me that her blood pressure was on the rise. After that Briana was put on bed rest. 

Just over a week later, on new years day, her mom contacted me to let me know that Briana’s water broke and they were on their way to the hospital. When she got there she was only 1 cm dilated and not contracting regularly so they started pitocin a few hours after their arrival. The pitocin lead to intense contractions. At her next check, Briana was only 2 cm dilated and opted to get an epidural to try to get some rest. 

I joined them around 6 am. When I arrived Briana was 9.5 cm dilated and almost ready to push. I watched as the excitement in the room grew between her husband, mom and sister. After all, it was almost baby time and everyone was running on fumes. 

Shortly after, Briana began pushing. Progress was slow and she began to feel defeated. She pushed in some different positions, tried some different techniques and took some time to labor down without pushing. I witnessed Chris support his wife wholeheartedly through every wave. After 2.5 hours of pushing, baby began to show signs of distress, but would recover in between contractions. After some great attempts to bring baby earth-side, his heart rate dropped and a cesarean was called.  


Michael Vincent was born at 10:19 am on January 2nd. 

5 lbs 11 oz. 


“ONCE THE BABY WAS OUT IT FELT LIKE AN ETERNITY BEFORE I HEARD HIM CRY...”

Michael was born at 36 weeks gestation and spent just over a day in the nicu. 


“I FELT LIKE MY BODY HAD COMPLETELY FAILED ME. I COULDN'T HOLD MY BABY FOR A DAY AND A HALF. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE FOR HOURS AFTER HE WAS BORN AND I WAS ONLY ABLE TO SEE HIM FOR A MINUTE OR TWO THROUGH THE GLASS OF THE NURSERY. NOTHING IN THE WORLD COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR ALL THE SADNESS I FELT. I WAS SO HAPPY HE WAS OUT SAFE AND IN GOOD HANDS, BUT SO HEART BROKEN THAT I DIDN'T GET THAT SKIN TO SKIN WITH MY SWEET BABY BOY.”

When your birth doesn’t go as planned it can feel like the whole world is crashing down around you during those moments. I know it can feel like your body has failed you. Trust me when i say, I feel that with you. Being a mom is hard and motherhood is full of hard decisions. Sometimes these decisions aren’t in your original plan. 

That day I watched as a very strong woman accepted a change in her plans.